Latest version of my non winning Christmas poem entry.
Creepy Christmas Sock Monkeys waiting for Santa
It’s raining outside and the
Benz looks like crap.
The noise from the radio’s Jingle Bells Rap.
You beat up some kook in an
S.O.A. tee,
…drive home from the park with a
freshly chopped tree.
The wife’s on her iPad doing
live request cam,
you head for the market to
steal a fat ham.
Your phone starts to buzz as you
head out the door.
The In-laws again, they’re
looking to score.
Christmas will be here in just
one more night,
bring ’em a bottle they’ll stay
out of sight.
The kids left last Friday to go
out and play,
they always come home for the
big holiday.
You pass by a church and think
about mass,
but you know ol’ Santa don’t
give a rat’s ass.
Arrive at a mall where the
parking lot’s packed,
the really good cars have already
been jacked.
The soon bankrupt Center’s a
mile away.
You snag a good space it might
be your day.
In front of the Wet Seal you
hear a loud sound.
The cops have your daughter
hog-tied on the ground.
You duck into Nordstrom before
you are seen,
They won’t keep her long she’s
only fourteen.
Searching and searching you snag
the right gift.
The guard’s been on Facebook
most of his shift.
Slip out the back door and into
the cold.
Shoplifting’s easy when you
start to look old.
It’s now Christmas morning and
everyone’s here,
They’re fighting and drinking
your holiday cheer.
Your friends and your family
can’t wreck your yuletide.
To hell with them all just go
for a ride!

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